Pause and Reflect...

I know I've been MIA lately, so I hope you all will forgive me. I've had my attention temporarily alienated by the process of applying for a mortgage. Good times.

I hope to be back soon, but in the mean time, what keeps you from writing? Writer's block? Daily activities? Stress? Or....gasp! good ol' fashioned laziness?

In Which I Reconsider Feedback....

So it happened.

I got my first rejection on a full yesterday. It was very odd for me. I was let down, but not distraught. I guess deep down the thought that I would obtain representation on the first full request was pretty slim. If anything, I was hoping for some feedback from her so I could evaluate my MS and make changes. But the agent was snowed under and could not give any specific reasons for her rejection (other than she loved the premise, but it wasn't right for her list--otherwise known as the standard reason). It's so hard to dissect a form rejection.

X marks the spot...or in this case
the rejection!

I am now at an impasse as to what to do. I didn't realize how much I was hoping for feedback from her, so I would know how to proceed. I've struck a wall in regards to finding betas (I only managed two). I want to join a writing group, but I've got to find one first. OK, I've found one but they only meet the 1st Saturday of the month. I'm so desperate that I reversed my feelings about online feedback and posted my first chapter for technical comments. We'll see where that takes me....

And until then, I'm sort of just hanging out here, twiddling my thumbs. How I hate being still!

So what about you guys? What do you after a big rejection?

The Dangers of Feedback

Feedback is a good thing.

If it wasn't for feedback, I would have never even thought about getting my writing published. As I have often mentioned, writing was an outlet for me--a chance to create the stories (particularly historical ones) that I wasn't seeing on the shelves at the library or local book store. I sometimes wish that I hadn't been so narrowminded as I would have had the chance to study with a published author when I was in college. But I digress.

I first started exploring the notion of getting published about two years ago when I published some of The Enemy Within on a review website--you know the ones, you critique people's work and they'll critique yours. It was when I found that readers were developing strong, but good reactions about my characters that I thought that I might have a chance at this.

With my usual singlemindedness, I delved into honing my writing and learning everything I could about finding an agent, getting published, etc. And finally here I am. I'd say that I am fairly confident about finding an agent. I hope it's for The Enemy Within, in fact, I'd probably be somewhat disappointed if it doesn't make it anywhere, but I know I have many more stories in my head that might make it to a bookshelf one of these days.

But even with self-confidence, I can still get pretty upset over a harsh critique. I rarely get them, if I'm honest. Or perhaps I should say that I rarely get ones that aren't helpful or that I don't agree with. I think sometimes I let my confidence get the best of me. I put myself out there in ways that I really shouldn't--and usually there's a price to pay for it. Most recently, I was told that my writing was great but cliche. Um, really? How was that in the least bit helpful? I understand that there are some elements of The Enemy Within that are cliche or rather what our society had programmed us to consider cliche. Yes, there are renegade Union soldiers. Yes, there is a big white plantation house and slaves. But personally, I don't think a sprawling Civil War epic would be complete without any of those things. Nonetheless, this recent critique has been plaguing me since I read it. Part of me knows that it was just one person and I shouldn't fret, but given that I'm already somewhat traumatized by the things going on in my personal life, I'm particularly sensitive.

It's so hard to separate out those bad apples sometimes. Add that one critique to the fourteen rejections I've gotten in the past few weeks and it's been a tough twenty-four hours. It's one of those times where I wish I had never ventured out of writing stories for myself. And it's even lead me to consider removing myself from the forum world for a while. I want to be involved (because I like interacting with other writers) and I know it gets my name out there, but sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it. I know that I have my involvement in the forum/blogging world to thank for supplying me with all of you wonderful readers. I certainly don't want to miss out on that.

So what about you all? Do you find that forums and feedback are more harmful than helpful? What do you do to filter out those comments when they seemingly have no merit?

Change is a...well you know the rest...

Change is a funny thing. It's constant (or so the saying goes). And yet, sometimes it seems that when you want change the most, it never comes around.

Some of us love change. Some of us resist it with our fingernails dug into a cliff side refusing to let go.

But Change and I have been good friends over the years. I will be the first to admit that I embrace her everytime she comes knocking. I'll also curse her when she decides to withhold and leave me stranded. It's a good place to be as a writer. If a new idea hits me and takes me off the grid, it doesn't bother me. I just go with it. Even in life, I've always been able to hang with change pretty well. For example, when I was twenty two (or was it twenty three?) I managed to change pretty much every aspect of my life. I remember very clearly my grandfather's reaction to all this nonsense--"You may fly by the seat of your pants, kid, but you always come out on top!" In the space of a year, I graduated college, got a new job (that required moving to the big city), got engaged and bought a house. But then, I got a new job (that required moving to small town). I sold aforementioned new house roughly two months after closing on it. Ah, the joys of a booming real estate market! And so I moved on, I bought new house, and I broke off my engagement. Then I ate my grandfather's words: I lost my new job three months after taking it and was stuck with a mortgage in a small town where there were no other jobs for me. I ended up OK in the end, but looking back, I wonder how I didn't have a nervous breakdown during all that mess.

Painting by Abraham Willaerts - 1626

But sometimes things take FOR-EVAH. I've spent the last two and half years being held hostage by my dear friend, Change. It's been more emotionally exacting than anything I've ever been through. It was a time of reflection and maturing, if I'm honest. I evaluated my past mistakes and the behaviors that led to them, and in the end, I think I've made some real progress. And so when things started changing (new job, moving, interested agent...), I embraced them gleefully. Finally--I was getting what I wanted.

But for the first time in my life, I've realized that change is hard. It means missing everything--the familiarity of day-to-day routines, my work friends, even driving up to my old workplace in the morning! I've been on my new job for three days now, and while I think everything will pan out OK, I'm wandering around in the dark (and bumping into furniture along the way).

I think the hardest part is not anticipating these emotions. The loss, the sadness, etc. I wanted these changes, hoped and prayed for them, so why do I feel this way? My only answer is that I've grown up. It's a good thing, I suspect, given that the big 3-0 is next year. I just wish I could skip the depression and find my feet in this new world I now inhabit. Because now I am being forced to change for the first time in my life, and boy, is it hard.

So how about you? Do you handle change very well? How does it affect your writing?

Saying Good-bye to Old Friends...

I'm in the midst of a dilemma (per usual).

Have you ever been so attached to your characters that you can't let them go, but yet you don't know where they are going? That is the case with my Revolutionary War manuscript "A Convenient Misfortune." I've been working on it since I was in high school. Way back then, I didn't even know the word 'outline' and so I wrote and wrote until I wrote myself into a hole. Then I went back a few years later and made some revisions, but I never could see the end of the novel. Now that I have spent some time studying this whole craft we calling writing, I'm better prepared to work on this manuscript.

Or am I?

I love the hero and heroine in "A Convenient Misfortune" even though they are both vastly different from Alex and Julienne in "The Enemy Within." Jackson is far more roguish than Alex, but he hides a secret hurt that he intends to protect at all costs. Arabella has some similarities to Julienne: she is well educated and feisty (albeit in a more social acceptable way). While Julienne rails against her position in society, Arabella knows that she has to do what she has to do. She's also a conflicted character like Julienne when it comes to men. There are two men in her life: one that she is over her heels in love with and the other is a dear friend who desperately wants her to reciporcate.

Despite my attachment to Arabella and Jackson, I feel like something is missing in their story. I've got plenty of drama (that's my signature, right?) but I fear the plot is weak. Part of me wants to keep writing to see where they take me because I am emotionally invested in them, while the other part of me doesn't want to pour the time into something that is not viable. Let's not even get into my quandry over POV. At the end of the day, I worry that this is my "trunk" novel and that makes me very sad.

So what about you guys? Have you ever not wanted to put away a manuscript?

Changes are Afoot!

Hello all!

I hope you are winding down your work weeks in fine style. I'm sorry that I have been a bit neglectful lately, but I've had a lot of news recently that has been...well distracting. Most everything has been most welcome, but before I can get to the good, I must dispense with the bad.

I am dedicating this post to my dear Darcy. He passed away almost a week ago at the ripe old age of fourteen. As you might have guessed, Darcy came to the family during my Jane Austen phase (hence the name). For many years, he would have nothing to do with me after I left for college. Like his namesake, forgiveness was not his forte. But in the past year, we had grown close again since I've been camping out at my parents' house most every weekend. And so it was with great sadness that I had to say farewell. It's hard not to remember all of the quirky things he used to do. My favorite was whenever we would go traveling, he would drop one of his stuffed mice in our bags. Inevitably, we would arrive at our destination to discover his present, which always made us long for home. He was definitely one cool cat and completely irreplaceable. He will be dearly missed!

Let me move on before I burst into tears for the upmteenth time. I have two happy things to note. First, I received some very good news on the writing front. For all the details, please see my Facebook page, but I will give you a hint--I'm now a successful querier! Although the fun (and the wait) is just beginning, I am very happy.

Secondly, I got a job offer last week! Those of you who have been following me for a while know that I have been suffering through a commuter marriage--well no more! In approximately two weeks, I will be re-united with my husband. But as you might imagine, it will be a very busy (read: stressful) time. I have recently put our house on the market so between realtors and moving, I may be MIA from the blog for a time. But once the dust settles, I will be back in action!

So has anyone else gotten some good news that they would like to share?

Genre: A Great Dilemma

So I've turned my thoughts to genre. As I hammer out the bajillionth copy of my query (yes, still), I am exploring the notion of calling my novel a historical romance. The label frightens me really because in my mind historical romance is that aisle at the Barnes and Noble that features scantily clad ladies and gents on the novel covers.

I'm pretty sure I read this one. And yes, I'm blushing.

But my novel is a love story, and I must accept what I have written. While it is also about revenge and redemption, death and life, and most importantly, family honor, it would nothing without Julienne and Alex's relationship. I set out to write a straight historical fiction, and may even deviated (slightly) from the standard romance formula (but yes, there is a happy ending!), but I cannot deny what my book is. If only I could figure it out.

The question has plagued me for some time. I really began to tackle the concept this evening when I realized that one of my favorite historical fiction writers is published under the Mira imprint, which is owned by Harlequin. Then I noticed that even the author refers to herself as a historical romance writer. Well, I'll be.... Her books are romantically driven, but definitely not the standard historical romance. Heck, she doesn't even do sex scenes. To add further fuel to the fire, I was looking at an agent blog wherein she cited Phillipa Gregory and Karleen Koen as historical romance authors. I definitely fit in with those authors.

So what do I do? My query now reads that "REBEL HEART is a historical fiction with romantic elements" but should I just bite the bullet and call it a historical romance? I posed the question to my husband, to which he replied (with his characteristic clarity): "I think you should classify it to the genre that sells." Excellent advice, really.

So what about you? Have you had any genre conundrums?