Before I drive myself insane, I thought I would turn to you all my dedicated, wonderful, loyal blog readers and get your take of my latest run through. I've also posted this at Nathan Bransford's query board if you would prefer to comment over there. I would certainly appreciate the feedback, that's for sure! So here goes...
When nineteen year old Julienne Dalton decides to take down the Union after a band of renegade soldiers kill her father, she doesn’t count on falling in love with the enemy, or that his betrayal would lead her from the war torn landscape of
to the idyllic fields of Victorian England. Kentucky
Loyalties are divided in 1862
. Julienne Frankfort, Kentucky ’s desperate need for revenge burns bright, overshadowing her determined attempts to restore her family’s ruined horse farm. It was her father’s last wish, but carrying out her promise cannot assuage the pain of his murder. When Julienne stumbles upon crucial information regarding Union troop movements, she becomes a courier for a ring of Confederate agents. Dalton
Risking her life becomes less appealing when Julienne meets British businessman Alexander Caulfield. Handsome, worldly, and intelligent, he tenaciously pursues her; she stubbornly resists his charm, unwilling to lay her heart bare and be hurt. But a brush with death will send her flying into his arms—and to the altar. When a fellow contact is apprehended, Julienne discovers Alex's business is tracking down Confederate spies for the
Union. Fearing that she'll be betrayed and her husband's love will falter in the face of her treasonous activities, she flees . Settling in a small English village, Julienne must forget Alex if she wants to survive, but the task may be much harder than she ever anticipated. Kentucky
THE ENEMY WITHIN is a historical fiction of 100,000 words. I work for the (redacted) and author Caroline Wilson Writes, a blog about writing, researching, and all things historical. I chose to query you because (insert personalized info.) I appreciate your time and consideration.
So folks...what needs changing? I think I might have captured Julienne's personality a little better. I know poor Alex is languishing but it is so hard to capture him when I'm supposed to be writing from Julienne's POV. Any thoughts on that?